My top 5 danger foods

Having discussed which foods fill me up in a healthful fashion, here’s a few of my worst foods, in the sense that I have very little ability to eat a moderate portion of them, and even if I did they’re packed with fat/sugar, so are completely calorific. Wonder if these ring any bells with anyone?

5. Cheesecake   

Don’t mind the flavour, don’t mind whether it has a biscuit base or is baked American style. One slice is never, ever enough.

4. Fruit crumble   

Apple’s my favourite – slosh on some custard for good measure.

3. Lemon tart   

A good lemon tart, with a thick, wobbly, not oversweet filling is heaven itself. So much so that Mr NoYoYo and I arranged for lemon tart to be the dessert at our wedding reception. It likes to pretend it’s harmless, with the citrussy tartness of the lemon juice masquerading as actual fruit consumption. Tut!

2. Fruit pies

We’re talking Mr Kipling‘s here. They are the kind of treat I’ll have in secret  on the odd occasion – too shameful to admit I always eat two at once.

1. Mince pies

Every year, Christmas begins early for me – as soon as these hit the shops, in fact. Their my worst danger food because they often just don’t deliver – these days commercial pies tend to be far too sickly. The more pricey varieties are always a temptation, though. The vast majority of any Yuletide weight gain, can, in my case, be put down to regular consumption of these festive blighters, which are straight from Satan’s own seasonal snackbox, in my opinion.

Wow – was writing this for fun – but actually ended up being quite angry at some of these foods – especially minging mince pies. Didn’t realise I loved and hated them in equal measure. Quite cathartic to write it all down!

Devil's food!